Just Toss It!

My friend up and took off for Tibet…she asked me if I wanted her racing bike…she didn’t want to toss it but she needed to get rid of it. She said giving it to me would be as therepeudic as tossing her wedding ring into the ocean…She’s going through something profound right now. Many of us have experienced the pain of a break-up with a husband/boyfriend/person that you gave your heart to only to be dragged along for and extended amount of time and then watch as they crush that organ under their feet. I was reminded of my own experience as I thought of her.  Are men the same way? Do they need to clean house of all memories? I’ve noticed a pattern in the grieving process, phases, if you will…

Phase 1: Numbness, denial…this isn’t really happening…he’ll realize his mistake and we’ll get back together. I couldn’t help but think of the Violent Fems “I hope you got Fat” if you aren’t familiar, the words are “I hope you got fat cause then you just might want to see me come back.” This is part of phase 1. As women go, we diet, or change our hair, or shop.

Phase 2:Acceptance, kind of…the paperwork is filed and you do all the practical things that mean it’s “over.” Still you blindly hang on to what you can, you want to “stay friends” you hang out or call every once in awhile. Your friends are not aloud to speak ill of the ex…not yet. Because what if by some freak chance you get back together? Then there’d be weirdness. “Time heals all wounds” I don’t know if this is true…time may just lessen the blow.

Phase 3: There is a catalyst in this phase, something to make you realise you were holding out for some sort of closure…some message…but you can’t verbalize what kind of closure you need…and then you receive some kind of blow that takes you out of your stupor. This one hurts like the initial revelation. It happens and you realize they really aren’t good for you. On any level. Are they dating again? Are you dating again? What was the final straw?  And sometimes you need to take all the pictures, poems, love letters…to a pit at the beach and torch them. Maybe he really did love you once and it wasn’t all a lie, but you NEED to throw that ring in the ocean! It feels so good!

Though I haven’t spoken with my dear friend about what made her decide to give up her bike, I can only wonder what happened that helped her reach this decision.  But I’m clapping for her! It’s been a few years since it started to go down, and I hope she finds what she’s looking for in Tibet.

And I’m starting to think metal detectors on the beach aren’t such a nerdy idea.

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Adventures in Home-making

Yesterday morning I dug my cell phone out of my purse, where it had been buried for the entire weekend. I decided that calling back the 6 people that had tried to contact me would be a good way to avoid the 20 piles of clothes in my laundry room.

I keep forgeting how ambitious my friend Jen is. She’s always up to something. When I had called, I caught her in the midst of this little game she was playing. Let me preface with the fact that she has four children, spanning the ages of 5 through 12. They’re gone during the day, and she can’t sit still. (Hmmm, sounds like a personal problem.) So she has time to invent games like the one she had busied herself with that day.

She had found herself with much laundry to do, and it was a Monday so the house had it’s usual Weekend clutter collection. To take care of them both in a timely manner here were the rules to her game…

• start a load and set the timer for 30 minutes. That way you make sure you are rotating your laundry in a timely fashion.

Umm, can I make it an hour? My washer fills up SO slowly because we’re on well water, and my dryer takes at least 70 minutes.

• Yes you can make it 60 minutes, what ever works for you, just so that it’s consistant.
• during this 30(or 60) minutes you must plan ahead what you are going to be doing in each alotted time slot
• for 30 (or 60)minutes she was going to speed clean, that consisted of picking up anything that was out of place and throwing it in it’s correct room.

Jen, wait! I have a question! Do you put the childrens stuff away?

• “NO! Absolutely not, this is a speed clean, don’t stop for anything, and the kids can put their stuff away at the end of the day, it’s their responsibility.”
• one of her time slots might be for gardening
• one for the kitchen
• and so on…

Jen! Wait, what about lunch?

• yes, you can break for lunch.

And when do you fold your laundry?

• at the end of the day you fold all the laundry that you’ve thrown on your bed (for wrinkle prevention) and that’s when you can talk on the phone or watch T.V. but it’s nice to get it all folded at once.
• But don’t do more than 5 loads in one day, because 5 is PLENTY!

The key thing to remember is to keep rotating the laundry, and speed clean, don’t concentrate on details…(at this moment in the conversation Jen screamed that she only had 2 minutes left and she had to run, but she was “kind of having fun with it.”)

This sounded like something I could possibly, maybe handle? At this point in my homemaking career I am really ready to try anything new.

So here’s how this game worked with Eve as a player…

10:30~Hang up with Jen, pumped. Set timer…began putting dishes away. (I think I’m  already  breaking the rules.) 

10:40~daughter hungry because she refused to eat breakfast. What does that girl have against cold cereal? I ponder. And then I make her a sandwich.

10:50~check the rest of my phone messages. My dad had come for a visit on Sunday but we weren’t home! This begs for an IMMEDIATE return call! Dad was sweet about it.

11:01~ I find a glitch in the system. No matter where I go I have this little shadow, my Bubba, and he wants whatever I have in my hand!

11:10 succumb to temptation and put the children in front of electric babysitter. ALARM GOES OFF! Aaaah! Did I only set in for 30 minutes? No way my clothes are dry!. Check the clothes, they aren’t. Restart timer for 30 minutes more. Decide I’m going to just take a “peek” at my e-mail. I’m waiting for a possible babysitter and it’s of the UTMOST importance.

11:35~ get up from e-mail. Kids of course want a computer game because I’m using it. Take some time to get them started on some “educational entertainment.” 

12:09~ check laundry-1 load down, 4 to go.

12:20~ pick up kindergartener from bus stop. Decide to walk to the park for lunch! SHE SAID I COULD BREAK FOR LUNCH PEOPLE!

2:21~ Back from a lovely day at the park, it was refreshing and I feel ready to face 4 more loads and the speed cleaning.

2:49~ finished rotating 2nd load. If I’m supposed to rotate 5 loads in 5 hours I have exactly 40 minutes left! Hmmm…not doing so well…

4:40 Start dinner. I have thus far accomplish folding 1/2 a load (of towels) AND putting it away. (which is totally against the rules but there was something good on pay per view.) 

4:45~Rotated 3rd load, put in 4th.  I’m optimistic I will finish 5 by the end of the day. 

End of the day summary…so the game didn’t quite work out perfectly but it was a means to get me jumped started. I did get my downstairs picked up and company appropriate. I did get the laundry organized. The clothes are still in my room, and SURPRISE! Not folded yet, but tomorrow is another day right?  I did do yard work with my family (which was a lot of fun) and I cleaned up the dinner dishes, which is not a normal habit of mine. I think that this game was in the very least a good influence on me. The reason I liked this game was it did get me jump starting and in a cleaning mode…which is VERY HARD to kick start sometimes. I sometimes have a hard time focusing on just one task which is why if I did this correctly, it would help that problem.

So try it yourself…see if it works for you and if you like working against a clock. For those of us who are procrastinators and love to work under the gun this may be the perfect thing.

Maybe next time I’ll do even better because I’ll be mentally prepared, and have a clear picture in my mind of what I want to accomplish.

Cheers Jen! My family thanks you.

 

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I’m so ungrateful. But this is my blog afterall.

Before I go scouring other blogs and getting lost in cyber-space, I must do it…I must write.

Honestly I just haven’t felt worthy of typing. I still have carry over from last Wednesday’s dark cloud.  But “friend therapy” has been fun…and I don’t want to make anyone blush, but thanks friend, for making dinner for my poor starving children TWICE while I sulked.

Can I blame it on my house?

They are real moose antlers! It has a certain German Chalet charm to it doesn’t it?

By the way, they installed them on both sides! One just wasn’t “good enough.”

We’re renting. Close your eyes and envision cream stucco with dark brown wood trim, and shutters. Probably built in the early sixties. We still have globe sized light fixtures made out of orange glass hanging from chains. The carpet is delightful multi colored weave that can hide just about any stain you throw on it. And it’s wound so tight that there is really no need for vacuuming, a broom will take care of the crumbs that sit on top. The walls are all the color of a typical Seattle morning…grey. I have tried to cover them up with pictures, but it’s not working.

The best part of the house besides the antlers has got to be the plastic bag we stuck in the hole in the front window. To keep the bugs out.

What I need to remember is that this is not forever. And I do. I can laugh at it. I like having “the moose antler” house. It’s quite a conversation starter. But I’m longing for a place to really call our own. 

I met some peeps on Saturday…it was refreshing.

They were nice to me.

They gave me presents and bought me lunch. I like Canadians.

A few wish to remain photo-less, but the rest of you will go down in Good Enough Blog history.  Thanks for hangin’ and hopefully we’ll party again in the future…

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This one’s for the girls

Well after the sob fest Wednesday night I received some wonderful phone messages.

I’m lucky. I have collected some very choice friends along my journey in life. Two of them called me Wednesday night but my phone was in the car. Instead of chatting about happy times gone by and catching up I was sitting alone crying.

Granted, we all need those nights to cry when no one is watching, but I would have loved to talk to my girls!

There’s nothing that makes me feel younger than hanging out with my 30-something gals!

Who else could you go to a Kelly Clarksen concert with and not feel awkward around all the teenagers?

Please note the 11 year olds in the background…and why are we the only ones rocking out?

Yes, I was quite the mosher in my day.
Do they still say mosh? Anyone?

I do love my friends. I miss the ones I’ve had to leave along the way, but that’s the beauty of today’s world. They are never REALLY far away.  We’ve got cell phones and blog sites and picture sites and instant messaging, and web-cams. And true friends do visit each-other, even if you happen to live at the edge of civilization in a very rainy part of the country.

The other wonderful thing about girlfriends is no matter where I go, I seem to find some real gems. I’ve been lucky with this recent move to meet some “kindred spirits.” Women that I can call and ask “I’ll clean your kitchen if you’ll clean mine.” or more often than that “I don’t feel like lifting a finger today. Can we ditch our house keeping duties together and can my kids trash your house while we do it?”   It’s great.

Speaking of making new friends, today some fellow female bloggers are driving from the far reaches of the Northwest, and meeting up in Seattle. I’m really  excited to meet everyone. I’m totally green to this blogging world and I don’t know what to expect, but I’m hopeful to come away with the beginnings of some fun relationships.

I’ll bring the digital camera and cross my fingers for some really good, embarrassing photos that I can post and talk about later!

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